Attempts to communicate with the Universe. Lettres à l’Univers et autres destinataires.

I picture you, in many years to come, reading this blog, perusing through pictures, wondering how I found the time and the obnoxious inspiration to write about you and I during my pregnancy, with so much details, and after your birth, with, uh, too many details. Or why I didn’t write more regularly, seriously, what the hell… ?

The last three years have been glorious, and I owe it all to you. First there was this space inside me which you invaded so totally and beyond. Ah, the feeling of not belonging to myself any longer! You growing inside of me made me Life’s very own miracle, and larger than in my wildest dreams. And I mean “larger” in every respect. Both as a human project connecting to something greater, and as a, what do you call it ? oh yeah, as a “severely overweight because cooking and eating all day incredibly good food” individual. So yes, expecting you made me a greater human being, if only because you took so much space there was little left for all my neurotic personal baggage, which I therefore had to hurl all out of me in order to sort through it and make some sense out of all the crap. Clarisse, my very own express therapy. Thank you for that.

Which was just the beginning. From in utero to right here in my arms, your first three years in my life have been blissful. They say the cards are dealt by the time a child turns three. I’m so grateful for this perfect hand I’ve been dealt, then. You’re funny, you’re smart, you’re temperamental and fierce (and I mean that in the best possible way), you’re sweet and loving and soft, and you glow. My oh my, how you glow. I have no idea what Life will bring you, what you’ll bring to Life, and I hope and imagine the best, of course, because Mad Hattress as I may be, I’m your Mommy right now, the Kissing Monster to my Monster Baby. But in many years to come, when you become a ranting teenager, a tortured young girl wondering about the world, make sure you keep in mind that for a long time, all anyone could see when they saw you, was this luminous glow, this energy field made of love, yours and mine and Ludo’s. And I can only bask in your perfect light, my love, and wish to feel it grow though and out to the Universe.

Happy Birthday, Clarisse.
Thankfully and madly,
MN

This entry was posted on Friday, August 15th, 2008 at 4:32 pm and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.