And of course, being who I am, it made me think. After all, I’ve been sharing my darkest secrets, craziest thoughts, profound and no-so-quite-that reflections on life, biodegradable diapers and the price of organic apples, not to mention my tips on how to resist the urge of hanging your child upside down to put an end to their negociating skills. So why is this so hard to talk about ? I’ve figured it out. Somewhat. Maybe.

I like to share good news, and put a distance between the dark panic I seem to live with better and better, and this world filled with humans I love so much, by playing it, uh… cool ? Na, I’m definitely not the cool type… Sweet ? Nope. Light and dry with a touch of intensity for dramatic purpose, that’s me…

But usually, things change, life flashes its many sides and colors at the speed of light, in my daily routine. So nothing is definite. Except for break-ups, a part of me thought these last few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, a break-up isn’t the end of it all, but it’s the end of life as it was, especially with a child involved. So it took me a while to get rid of the guilt I felt, I guess, about joining the ranks of marital statistics that are very clear: one out of the couples break up before the first child turns two. Can you believe that crap… ?

Hey, Clarisse is three and a half, and she’s doing fine. Mostly because she’s just such a happy bossy busy inspired little creature of light (and evil, ooooooh, children are NOT innnocent). But probably because her parents are splitting up amicably, in a very modern way, with no anger, just the strange realization that, hey, this is simply not working out, no matter how hard we try, and it’s no use getting upset and frustrated, it’s just what it is.

So, dear Me, I’m a single mom. There, I’ve said it. It’s out there in the open. My shrink will be so proud of me. And everyone is getting along well. There’s no pain, just disappointment. No pain these days is pretty good, I think. We’re actually way friendlier than we’d been lately. And we’re still working together, the producer/writer combo is efficient, why mess that up? So there. It’s done. The last six years were different than anything I’d experienced or imagined. I’m glad and grateful, relieved and a little dazed, but really looking forward to whatever is next in this wild experiment I’m a participant in.

Dear Me, be good to yourself, be true, have fun, be great.
Mad Love,
MN